Human connection is not cancelled
Schools are closed, restaurants, bars and cafes have shut their doors and events of all kinds are all cancelled. Cancelled until further notice.
Cancelled is such a negative term. But there is one thing that is not cancelled.
“Human connection is not cancelled”
Another negative term is ‘social distancing’, it sounds so restrictive and oppressive, it can sound like we are shut away into a dark hole of solitary confinement. There is so much content being circulated that increase fear and anxiety.
But we are finding light in the darkness, something incredible is also happening. We are helping each other, there have been so many random acts of kindness and this disruption to our busy lives and routines is opening the opportunity for quality human connections.
I went for a walk with my oldest daughter last night and we had the time to talk openly about what she is feeling. How she is missing her friends right now and how to make the most of home schooling. Being with each other in the house means that I have the best work mates! I get to work only meters away from the people I love most in the world. I can take a break to grab a little cuddle with my daughters kiss them, smell them and have a coffee with my husband. I can count all the species of spring birds that visit the beautiful magnolia tree in front of my window as I work.
We are becoming conscious of what we need to buy from the supermarket, what sustains our life and what we can do without. I can buy dried lentils and polenta instead of pasta and potatoes. But we can also buy a big tub of ice cream and sit with a big spoon, a movie and chill!
At work every call begins with a genuine, how are you doing? And these are honest, well intended questions rather than a social language pattern of greeting one another. We share our experiences and how we are feeling about the situation in a very open and authentic way.
I had a call yesterday with an incredible engineer who needed support to write an article she was writing and something special happened. We ended up having a conversation about our dreams and passions, our values and ambitions. This ‘something special’ that happens is so healthy for us because when we talk about our values and core beliefs, these bring our thoughts into the prefrontal cortex of our brains and our higher thinking part of our brains. This actually brings our attention away from the lower parts of our brains the amygdala where we experience fear and stress.
Behind this bliss there is a level of fear and anxiety. A deep concern for our parents and friends who have family in much worse situations. The haunting tick of the fatality counter, reminder us with every new number is a new life that didn’t continue. It can be a scary time so I hope that you can take this time to pause and recognise what is going on and intentional about keeping healthy in body and mind.
Here are some ideas about how to do that:
1) Positivity of mind is a choice. When the emotions I am experiencing are not helping me, I have a choice to choose something else. Fear is as contagious as the virus. Fear will cause a whole heap of stress and cause me and others and so I choose to try the most positive perspective. When connecting with other people we can use this chance to speak from a place of positivity. In this way we can make sure we can ride out this period in a health way.
2) Compassion to help and support others. When we are giving, everyone wins. Research has show that volunteering can increase psychological wellbeing. One of the ways I am being kind and understanding is to the teachers. I know that us parents are all struggling with having the children home and some schools are having to quickly work out a contingency plan. I am taking a little time to think about how we can help by sharing learning resources and helping the flute teacher to set up a video conference facility to help her still run lessons. Others are giving too, for example my yoga app Down Dog has generously given all users free access to the full paid version until the end of the month.
3) Whole human connection is not only about physical human connection but rather how I see myself and others. Today in a video call we spoke about how nice it is that people are turning on their video conferencing rather than just phone. It is a chance to blend work and life and be reminded that we are a whole human being. That begins with self-awareness and recognising how I am thinking and feeling right here and right now. And then expanding myself as a whole person to the relationships I have. Maybe that is about being okay when your child interrupts a client call to ask if they can have a snack and also about talking to people about core values, the things that matter most.
So I hope you find ways to keep human connection alive
All the best and keep healthy
