Authenticity - Don’t fake it, Nurture it.
Who is…
The real you?
“Just be yourself!”
“Show up as your whole self!”
Leaders are challenged and even expected to be authentic. But what does authenticity mean and how can you find and nurture it?
Rather than looking within ourselves the temptation is to start to compare ourselves with others, copying the openness or style of others is not authentic. This fake version of authenticity is an attempt to match ourselves against the ideas we have about the needs of others. For example trying to be more charismatic, more extroverted or less emotional, less enthusiastic.
Comparison moves us out of connection with ourselves and others, we move away from what we really want and what makes us happy.
Authenticity by definition can not be faked. We describe authenticity with words like real, honest, truthful, integrity, actual, genuine, essential, verified and sincere.
When a leader is authentic, there is an alignment between how they present themselves and how they naturally are. The motivation is intrinsic.
Leaders who have high self-awareness can see what is intrinsic; what comes from the essence of who they are, and what comes from the environment they work and live in. When they are asked to be ‘less of who they are’ , they recognise it and seek to find more connection and meaning for themselves.
This is sometimes hard to achieve because the role of a leader over the course of their career can be built up of expectations and judgements about how the 'should' be. These expectations can be disguised into the ‘qualities of a good leader’. For example a good leader is decisive, but that doesn’t mean that they need to have all the right solutions and answers. A good leader needs an optimistic vision, but that doesn’t mean that they need to ‘candy coat’ or hide their own doubts or worries.
Today, there is an ask from employees and senior leadership for a human leader not a polished one. The problems faced by business and society, require us to be more connected to each other and our impact on each other and the world around us. Being polished distances us from feeling a real sense of belonging, to ourselves and to others.
“True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world; our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” — Brené Brown
People are flexible.
The environment and culture of work has made people flexible and sometimes even dismissive of their own beliefs. A client I worked with had learned to believe that; 'a leader should be tough and decisive', 'don't show weakness or doubt or they won't trust you' but circumstances meant that she needed to build relationships with stakeholders and create rapport. She also realised that being tough, was not her own belief, but rather those she had come to adopt, to get that leadership role.
Because people are flexible we also see that people can fake authenticity. Some (not all) social media influencers have this down to a fine art! But there is a difference.
Fake authenticity seeks fame, to be known. It is motivated by wanting something in return. Genuine authenticity takes a risk that they will be know, they are willing to show the messy and ugly so that they can create better connection with others.
Fake authenticity doesn’t care about offending others- it can be an excuse to express opinions or feelings with any choice of language, regardless of time or place or audience. Real authenticity speaks the truth with compassion. It considers how words will impact listeners’ emotions. It is kind and considerate, not just its opinions and declarations.
Fake authenticity wants to be heard, but not changed. Authenticity wants to learn and grow into a better version of themselves.
Human Leadership - Authenticity reflects truth, compassion and genuineness.
Leaders have survived to this point with a perform and prove mindset, strength and authority style but the challenges ahead of us and the employees entering the workforce require a more human approach to leadership. A better connection with purpose, values and responsibility for people. We are looking for leaders we can trust and we can connect with. Leaders aren't to blame, they have played the game and played their part well because that is what they have been rewarded for in the past. But leadership qualities are evolving. So leaders will need to evolve too.
Some of the ways that leaders and organisations can become more authentic and allow more authenticity in others at work:
Starts at the top. Senior leadership are role models in the organisation, they can normalise being genuine, take the risks of showing they are messy and have flaws like everyone else.
If we want the environment for authenticity, compassion is essential. Build up emotional fluency and emotional intelligence in teams and individuals.
Connection and Belonging happens when we have a culture of inclusion. Inclusion isn’t something for the DEI department or HR to worry about. Every individual and every leader is responsible for the culture have today and for the one you want to build.
I am working with clients and organisations to help them to bring more humanity to work. If you would like to get involved and connect with like minded folks.
