Failure; My story

This is my story of how difficult moments can teach you important lessons

I gave a speech last week about my own journey from being what I defined as an 'intrapreneur' to entrepreneur.  I touched on how important it is to fail and pick yourself up. There were some great questions from the audience about failure and we had a good discussion about it.

I know that we often don’t like using the word ‘failure’, there is a discomfort we feel in business and in life about reflecting personally when things don’t go as planned. But what a shame!

I sometimes introduce myself as a failed psychiatrist, So I wanted to share my story about why I say that. I hope it gives some context and inspiration.

 As a child I had no clue what I wanted to do so I studied what I loved. I took A-Level Psychology and went on to study Psychology at University and after graduating I went to work at a top private hospital eating disorders hospital. It seemed like I was on the right path.

 And that was the year I grew up, fast!

I saw highly intelligent, beautiful and ambitious girls drowning in a quicksand of anorexia nervosa.

Kind, creative, loving souls trapped in a world where the mirror throws lies and insults of grotesque obesity where actually the person standing in front of that mirror is a frail child whose hip bones protrude through oversize clothes.

I was working with the resident world class professor on an ambitious qualitative study,  supporting patients and finding fulfillment and inspiration while living my dream of making a difference to the amazing people who walked in like shadows into that hospital.

 Then the universe conspired against me. Damn you universe! Things started to happen out of my control.

One day,  I was left to restrain a patient alone for an hour, leaving me with a back injury. The next incident happened when I had to run after another patient who was trying to abscond and I had my first asthma attack and the final injury was when I fell on the stairs leaving me on crutches for six weeks. I wondered, why me!

I asked a patient, why did you run when I was on shift?
She said, 'because I knew you would catch me'.

I maybe cared more, gave more and paid the price more. But I saw that as one of my strengths.

Nevertheless, I couldn't ignore these incidents anymore.

With a heavy heart I handed my notice in, I completed a full year so that it would count against my clinical training if I returned. I remember standing in the professor's office and hearing him say this is a mistake, he said "if you step off, you will never be able to come back".

“So I left and moved back in with my parents, tail between my legs, to work out what to do next. ”

 I started working in sales and marketing, I retrained in Public Relations and starting building up experience in a new direction, I tried new sectors from engineering to radiology, luxury brands to a restaurant company and most recently spent over a decade in the energy industry. 

I didn’t realise at the time but my attempt at psychology it was not a wasted experience. No failure is a waste unless you don’t learn from it. It took many years from me to learn the lessons but I grew up a lot and saw that there are important things in life to hold onto.

 In my communications career I found my groove leading group coaching sessions and building communication skills with managers and leaders and I am able to bring not only solid communications experience by my understanding of psychology, into the support and advice I give. I can help leaders of change to think clearly about the emotional impact on employees and coach one on one and in groups to help build emotional intelligence and deeper levels of listening. 

I would not have had the chance to learn any of this if I had not failed. I know now that I do give more and care more and I am proud of that, my clients also appreciate that too.

“So ask yourself, what have you done in the past that makes you great at what you do? What have you taken with you from your experiences and where will that take you next?

What have been, not only the peak experiences in your life, but the hardest moments. There you will find gems of learning that make you an even better version of yourself. ”

Many of us walk around with a story like this… but not everyone shares it. Maybe this article inspires you to tell at least one person about something you learned the hard way.

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